my firsts in delhi.

 It was sometime in June of 2008, the peak of summer in Delhi was just taking its toll on us. My father and I had just landed at the IGI airport. I was clearly excited about everything and we had a trolley packed with luggage and it was becoming nearly impossible for me to push it on the slant side walk. But I did manage and we reached my uncle’s apartment in Gurgaon. The main reason why i came to delhi was because i was not progressing efficiently in Kolkata in the past three years and my father decided it was time I saw delhi and its crowd. And he did the right thing by making me pack my bags for the capital city. I had just passed my 8^th grade with an average score and i was seeking admission in mount carmel school in Delhi for 9^th grade. Well my father wrote a letter seeking his youngest daughter’s admission but the headmaster rejected it and till now i think it was on a positive purpose. It was almost mid July and i was getting late for admission in any other school and moreover with the kind of academic result i had scored everything seemed to dim out on me. And out of desperation i was admitted with ease at C.S.K.M public school in southern part of Delhi. I hated that school but i could not complain because i was left with no other choice.

The first time i saw the India gate, the qutab minar, the big super colossal official buildings in Gurgaon, extraordinarily beautiful residential structures and the malls had a deep impact on me. Driving with my father at shanti path in central Delhi, the pricking heat and the much hyped-out, most promoted sarojini market, all of these eased out my mind and i could move along.  

The first few days in my new school were tormenting for me. i hated the uniform, i hated the toilets, the classrooms, the kids in the school playground and the hostel schedule but nevertheless with the experience of being in a hostel since 6^th grade i gradually blended well with the new crowd. Being a native of the north eastern parts of india i was poor in Hindi. All i knew was ’tumhara naam kya hai” and “mera naam chloee konsam hai”. They made fun of me and teased me and went through a bunch of humiliation. But despite of all the atrocities i did learn to speak hindi in few months and it was something of a miracle.  Along with English i conversed in hindi and with all the criticism i took over and spoke Hindi fluently. That was when i realised my eloquentness and my expressivity with words.  My new found friends were cool and fun to be with and i was delighted to find out that neither of them were selfish and mean as were in Kolkata. I decided to change my old habits and work towards being an extrovert. I decided to focus on my studies and make more friends and improve my personality, i started taking part in the activities and it changed my outlook towards life. Trust me, after few months i felt like a whole new person. The teachers treated me well and i started doing well in my exams and my performance took a commendable leap and once again i became proud of myself.

Throughout my 9^th and 10^th grade I worked hard and got out of that school with excellence in all my subjects in CBSE board exam and did proud to all my folks and friends. It was then I migrated to one of the prestigious school in Delhi and now in Delhi University Everything I did for the first time was one of the most marvellous moments and I owe all of this to my inner goddess who opened up and welcomed the change in me. And for the rest of the season till now i cherish how fascinating my firsts in Delhi were and i am pretty sure ill carry on making my life stunningly exceptional while i am still in Delhi.

home.

The word itself carries thousands of unidentified emotions. For a girl like me who has been studying outside my state away from home for the past 7 years is hard to explain its meaning. It needs a patient ear to listen and understand.

Home is the place where my childhood belonged to. It reflects all the mixed animated life of being in a family. When I first left home to study in Kolkata, I’d never missed my home. I foresaw the adventures and abstract excitement when I reached my new school. It changed my past and the future was still ahead. My childish curiosity never failed me and I began asking questions on my friendship and on my family. When I came to Delhi in 2008 I realized the importance of taking small steps and reaching out to the near and dear ones. I felt home was never too far. My life started taking an upturn like the engine that accelerates. Now When I go back home, I feel the security of being there. Even if I was anonymous it never failed to recognize me. I know the feeling when an opportunity slips off just at the tip of our fingers but home is where that opportunity comforts you.

For me it is not different from any other person but it taught me a great deal of ‘patience’ and this has led to greater opportunities for me. This is the place where my papa stood to sweat out for us, where my mother provided every possible comfort and where my sister laughed and cried with me. Day or night it never judged me. No matter how people looked at me my home stood for me and I always felt the warmth inside.  Like the wind that soothed in the west it acted as the pacifier in my mind. The most predominant experiences are explained with ease but for me it is different and I know where to begin because that is what life taught me. I was never afraid of leaving home and making friends was not a tough job.  With a constant feeling of attachment and love I always make a turn back at the end and it is hard for me to imagine leaving home forever.

Home is not only the building or an acre of land enclosed by bricks. It has a soul and I feel I live in the heart of it. It understands what I want to say. When I reach out with my feelings it listens to it. It doesn’t offer me choices but it takes me to the right way and I know it because I have faith in it. Bereft of all the things inside my home I know it will never turn its back on me.

The times when I felt lost and uncontrollable home is what I think of. It pacifies my mind and makes me closer to my family. As a human being I know what it takes when we feel lonely and empty but home is where we belong and where feelings are considered most important. Through the choices we make all the worldly things won’t matter anymore. Home is where we decide our existence and find the reason for being human. We all know we don’t go outside to prove our deftness. It all comes to the point that we need a place, warmth and the feeling of belongingness without which we all cannot survive. To make ourselves clear we all ponder over what we want to say but if we for a moment casually think how important it is to think of home and truly understand its working. From all my experiences, it teaches you a lot of new things like we don’t forego a decision sitting by a pool just like that. A home knows our needs the best and synchronizes with our body unconditionally. All that matter is how we take care of it and how we make the best out of it.

Over the years I have seen how it fills up the emptiness inside me. It makes me whole again as if the sun has risen up in the east. It is the only place where I can do anything whenever and wherever I want. When I’m at home I know I have that liberty to cut across all the odds in my life and move on.  That freedom to save myself from all the tyranny and vent out my emotions at one go. The best feeling ever knowing that at the end of the day is that u have a place to rest the night. And it just not end there, the feelings are all that is left to survive. All the madness and all the great deeds of the day are pondered over at night and when u have a roof over your head it is more pleasurable. I know this feeling coz I have felt the strong desire for a home and not just a house. What house is it when one doesn’t feel its warmth and the sense of belongingness? It is all in one go that we say we miss home. What we really miss is the little moments and adventures of our home. The place where my parents instilled love inside me and where my sister joined hands with me in everything I did. That feeling will never go as long as my home stands strong and wall up the bad omens away from me. And I know this is the feeling that can never fade and will remind me of the days I stood facing the four walls of my home.